Feminine Nature

It is said that ‘behind the success of every man, there is a woman’. Sometimes, it is also mentioned that woman is obstacle for man on the path of self-realization. How to understand these contradictions? Is there definite science to understand the deeper intricacies involved? Let’s try to understand systematically nature of feminine.

This is equally important for both men and women to understand.

Scriptures tells the facts straight but these need to be heard comprehensively with maturity and not stretch one part too long.

Once Tulasi Devi was performing austerities at Badrikashram with aim of getting Krsna as her husband. Lord Krsna in His expansion form of Sakhachuda came to that site in the Himalayan Mountains.

Çaìkhacüòa sat down and said to her, “O beautiful girl, whose daughter are you? And how have you come to this forest? You look most fortunate and blessed. Indeed, you are the personification of heavenly joy-the best of women! You are a model of loveliness and can certainly bewilder even the saints!

Her head lowered, her face smiling, the beautiful-eyed Tulasé said, “I am the daughter of King Dharmadhvaja and have been practicing asceticism here. But who are you? And why are you talking to me? If a noble man sees a virtuous woman alone, he does not talk to her. So go away-wherever you please.”

But Çaìkhacüòa did not move.

Tulasé continued. “The çästras say that only a degraded man desires a woman. At first a woman is sweet to a man, but later proves fatal. Though her mouth rains honey, her heart is like a jar of poison. She uses sweet words but her heart is sharp like a razor. To achieve her own selfish ends she is submissive to her husband; otherwise, she is unsubmissive. While her face looks cheerful, her heart is dirty. Even the Vedas and the Puräëas cannot fathom her character. A wise man never trusts a base woman. She has no friend or enemy; for all she wants are new lovers. When a woman sees a well-dressed man, she inwardly desires him, but outwardly she appears chaste and modest. She is naturally passionate, attracts men’s minds, and eagerly engages in sex. Though outwardly she hides her lust and appears modest, when she meets her lover in secret, she is ready to swallow him up. When she does not have sex with him, she feels offended, her body burns with anger, and she begins to quarrel. When her passions are fully satisfied, she becomes cheerful; when unsatisfied, morose.

“A woman likes a good lover more than sweet foods or refreshing drinks; she likes him even more than her own son; he is dearer to her than her life. But if the lover becomes impotent or aged, she regards him as an enemy. Quarrels and anger ensue. Then she devours him as a snake eats a rat. She is rashness personified and a mine of vices. A woman is hypocritical, obstinate and unfaithful. Even Lord Brahmä and other gods are deluded by her. She is a hindrance on the path of austerity, an obstacle to liberation, an impediment to developing faith in Lord Hari, a refuge of all delusion and a living chain that binds men to the world. She is like a magician and is as false as dreams. She appears to be very beautiful, but is she is a bucket of stool, urine, gas and blood. When God created her, he arranged that she should become the spirit of delusion to the deluded and poison to those who desire liberation. Thus, on no account should a woman be desired, and by all means she should be avoided.”

Is it really true or she spoke poetry for the sake of circumstances? Herein, we see Tulasi Devi quoting from scriptures.

In Srimad-Bhagavatam 9.14.36-38 also, we see Urvasi telling the nature of women to King Pururava:

Urvaçé said: My dear King, you are a man, a hero. Don’t be impatient and give up your life. Be sober and don’t allow the senses to overcome you like foxes. Don’t let the foxes eat you. In other words, you should not be controlled by your senses.

Rather, you should know that the heart of a woman is like that of a fox. There is no use making friendship with women. Women as a class are merciless and cunning. They cannot tolerate even a slight offense. For their own pleasure they can do anything irreligious, and therefore they do not fear killing even a faithful husband or brother. Women are very easily seduced by men. Therefore, polluted women give up the friendship of a man who is their well-wisher and establish false friendship among fools. Indeed, they seek newer and newer friends, one after another.

However, Sankhachuda did not fully agree with Tulasi’s statements regarding the nature of women.

Çaìkhacüòa smiled and then answered, “O goddess, what you have said is not completely false. It is partly true and partly false. From the Creator have come chaste and unchaste women. One is praiseworthy, the other is not. Examples of chaste women are Lakñmé, Sarasvaté, Durgä, Sävitré and Rädhä. Women who are expansions of them are auspicious, glorious and very commendable, such as Çatarüpa, Devahüti, Svadhä, Svähä, Dakñiëä, Anasüya, Gaìgä, Diti, Aditi, Vedavaté, etc. In every yuga cycle these women are excellent. The heavenly prostitutes are also expansions and partial expansions of the above women, but they are not praiseworthy because they are unchaste.

Women who are in the mode of goodness are virtuous and pure. The sages declare them to be excellent. But those who are in the modes of passion and ignorance are not so praiseworthy. The passionate ones are fond of sense pleasures, indulge in them, and always want to fulfill their selfish goals. Such women are usually insincere, deluded, and irreligious. Generally, they are unchaste. But woman in the mode of ignorance are considered the worst. They are irresistible.

“A virtuous man would never court another man’s wife in either public or private. But I have come to you by Lord Brahmä’s command-to marry you according to the Gändharva rite.

Srila Prabhupada purports to verse 9.14.36-38 are also very revealing and should be studied with care. Further, Tulasi Devi testified the mature understanding of Sankhachuda and also spoke qualities of proper husband and responsibility of father to hand over her to a qualified man.

Çaìkhacüòa stopped talking. Tulasé smiled and cheerfully said, “Persons like you are famous in this world and good women desire such husbands. You have defeated me in argument. A man who is conquered by a woman is very impure and condemned by people in general. The forefathers and the demigods regard men who are conquered by women as low and contemptible. Even their fathers and mothers mentally despise them. The Vedas say that when a child is born or a relative dies, the brähmaëas are purified in ten days; the kñatriyas in twelve days; the vaiçyas in fifteen days; and the çüdras as well as other low classes in twenty-one days. But a man conquered by a woman always remains impure. Only when his body is burned to ashes does he become purified. Neither the ancestors nor the demigods accept from him offerings of cakes, flowers, etc. Men whose hearts are totally conquered by women acquire no fruits from their knowledge, austerities, japa, fire sacrifices, worship, learning or fame.

“I tested you to determine how strong you are in knowledge. One should choose one’s husband by examining a man’s merits and defects. If one gives his daughter in marriage to a man devoid of good qualifications, to an old man, to a man who is ignorant or poor, illiterate, diseased, ugly, wrathful, harsh, lame, limbless, deaf, dumb, inactive, or impotent-this sin is equivalent to the sin of murdering a brähmaëa. But if one gives his daughter in marriage to a young Vaiñëava who is learned, well-qualified and peaceful, one acquires the fruits of performing ten horse sacrifices. If one raises a daughter and then sells her out of greed for profit, he falls to the hell known as Kumbhépäka. There, for a period equal to fourteen of Lord Indra’s lifespans, such a sinner has to drink his daughter’s urine and eat her stool as well as be bitten by worms and crows. When this period ends, he has to be born in this world as a diseased person and earn his livelihood by selling and carrying meat.”

It is concluded, therefore, that women who are in mode of goodness are virtuous and pure, otherwise women are abode of many inauspicious qualities. Most women are in mode of passion, by nature and by constitution of their body. According to scriptures, therefore, women are never independent but are always under the care of either father, husband or grown up sons – before marriage, after marriage and in advanced age respectively.

Therefore, they should be properly trained by mature Vaishnava father in childhood and they further guided by a Vaishnava husband in youth, then they can perform their function as “better-half”, dharma-patni, by rising to mode of goodness. This is executed by hearing the lives of virtuous ladies mentioned in scriptures and learning to practice devotional service from authorities of scripture, saints and Acaryas through guidance of father, husband and sons, as suitable.